Tuesday, November 01, 2005
FIRST LOVE
SHe's gone. She left me for another man.
She left me for someone who loved her more than I did, gave her more than I could ever think of giving her, and loved her in ways that I could never even think of, much less imagine.
Right in front of me, while I stood there next to her, she would tell Him how much she loved Him. It never bothered her for people to know of her love for Him. Openly and overtly she would tell anybody and everybody about her "First Love."
She cared for me, told me so, but if He called she would leave me and go to Him for as long as He wanted to be with her. There were times in her last few months when she would longingly call unto Him, wanting to be with Him, all the time knowing that I understood.
Hers was a lifetime love affair with Him. I could never compete with Him and didn't even try. She loved Him passionately, and I was never jealous, because I realized it helped her love me with passion.
At times, I would suddenly come upon her in her secret place loving Him, and I would tip toe away so as not to interfere with their relationship. He came first, and I gladly and willingly accepted my role. Her "First Love" really really came first in every sense of the word.
She would read His love letters to her, which He had written in a book, and would quote passages to me. I wrote her love letters, but mine seemed so anemic and weak compared to His. Only when I quoted some of His passages did they seem to take on life and meaning.
There was never a day in her life when she did not meet with Him, and there were times when she spent hours with Him, telling Him about people's needs who wrote asking for help. People she never met, probably never would meet, but she knew He cared, so she would tell Him all about their neds asking for His help.
She spent time, sharing the most intimate details of her life with Him, things she never told me and never would. She told me He understood her. There were a few times she felt as though she had left her "First Love" and would weep over the distance, and plead for a return to that precious intimacy she had with Him. It seemed she couldn't live without it. It never lasted long, but even a day seemed like an eternity without her being with Him.
She told me last night, as I held her in my arms, that she was going to leave me before Christmas. I cried so hard she could hardly comfort me. I learned to trust her completely, totally, and when she said that, I knew she knew. It hurt. But not as much as she was hurting, from a disease that never knew a friend, and facing death that never knew a stranger. She assured me her "First Love" had conquered all her enemies. He gave her His word that He would never leave nor forsake her, and He kept His word. Having loved her, He loved unto the end!
The name of her "First Love" is JESUS!
She was called the "Loveliest Lady in the Land," because she was a lady of love. All who knew her loved her, and those she knew, she loved. Without doubt, she was one of - if not the - greatest lover in the world.
- Late Dr. Ed Cole
This is one essay which Late Nancy Corbett's husband, Late Dr Ed Cole wrote after his belove wife passed away.
The first time I got this article from Pastor Lia, i pondered.
What will be the one thing which I treasure the most, is the most precious to me and will remember till the day I go Home?
Immediately an answer was confirmed in my heart.
It's these intimate moments which I spent with the Lord everyday.
Loving Him and enjoying my time in the sweet presence of the Lord.
I remembered an ordinary in a teen cell camp, I cried many tears after worshipping God and dweling in His presence. It was my first deep encounter with God. He gave me a promise which I will never ever forget and will always be in my heart. "Never will I leave you and never will i forsake you, Joanne. I love you." At that point of time, it's more than just hearing some "touching words", but it's a life time commitment from God. He love me, even until the day I meet Him in Heaven. He is my First Love and I will never want to leave my First Love. Never ever. God is committed to me and I to Him. Anything can change, but God's love for me will never change. That is why He is my Father and my First Love.
love and fear Him, Joanne
joanne speaks.
3:11 AM
